Listen here!

ADHD can impact partnerships in all sorts of ways.  And without both partners doing the U-Turn to connect with their own parts... resentment builds... and the spark dwindles.  

In this episode of Self-Led Love, Bahia Miller is joined by Dr. Carol Shilliday—clinical psychologist, IFS assistant trainer, and longtime ADHD specialist—for a grounded, compassionate conversation about how ADHD shows up in intimate relationships.

Together, we explore ADHD not as a character flaw, but as neurodivergent wiring that deeply affects executive functioning, dopamine, emotional regulation, and follow-through—and how, without understanding, it often turns into shame, resentment, parent/child dynamics, and disconnection in partnership.

We talk about why ADHD is linked to higher divorce rates, how symptoms get misinterpreted as moral failures, and why both partners often end up feeling unseen and unloved.

You’ll hear:

• Practical ADHD support strategies—without turning into control

• the subtle perspective shifts that empower ADHD partners

• how critical acceptance, education and creativity are for ADHD partnerships

We also explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps ADHD couples by working with parts, unblending from shame and criticism, and restoring self-leadership on both sides of the relationship.

This episode is an invitation to move from blame to understanding—and from managing each other to partnering together.